i read over what i wrote in the past and sometimes i want to laugh at myself. life changes so quickly, you never know where each turn will take you. if there's one thing i learned from watching "just like heaven" with jenn on saturday is that i want to make sure i live my life one day at a time, taking advantage of every opportunity i have to spend time with family, friends, and do the things i really want to do. too many times i do stuff just because i have to, and i skip out on just doing simple things that could bring a lot of happiness to my life because i'm too busy.

i am insanely happy right now, because God has shown me something new in my life. i will admit i wasn't sure if i would be able to feel this way again, but true to His word, He has watched over me and will continue to do so. i think it's amazing what you can find when you're not looking. (especially since i had told jenn that day i'd decided i wasn't actively looking anymore.) i take one day at a time, seeing how it goes and then think about what i'd like to do tomorrow...

God works in mysterious ways.

ha, i know rob tells me to eliminate the man-hatred, but i don't know...i think it's more of a man-confusion than a man-hatred...

i think it's interesting that with school starting and all that's happened since then, my life had gone from being horribly mundane to a wee bit too confusing and fast-paced. and perhaps that's a hyperbole, but what less would you expect from an english major? i'm in the process of writing an op ed column for the dth's empty editorial spot, reflecting on recent events and recounting conversations i've had with jen and rob about the merits/demerits of guys, dating, relationships, and so on. it's weird in a way to write about this, it's like looking back into my past and finally realizing how all the pieces fit together. i feel like maybe i can start explaining things and answering some of those questions i had when jeremy broke up with me. and it's also helped a lot with figuring out what i want to do with some other guys in my life.

it's time i put my foot down about things i don't like with guys and start making them see what it is i respect as part of my life with them. i can't compromise like i have been any more, it's time for some standards.

another thing i have realized is what great friends i have in my life who will listen to me rant about everything under the sun and then give me sound advice about it. that takes a lot of patience (patience one virtue i am trying to gather more of at the moment) and it's awesome how sage the advice i get is. like when i had a very insightful discussion with greg the other night on the aim and he just opened my eyes to a lot of things i would have never thought about if it weren't for him. (i see he's also a lot more observant than i could imagine a person to be, but that's another story entirely!) and talking with rob and jen always leaves me with something to go on, something that always helps me to understand everything a lot better. of course, rob still complains about how i have great man-hatred i need to get rid of, but i don't quite agree with him on that. :-p

and so i will use this advice and see where that goes...and where things go with these guys, too.