I realized in thinking the other day that the only way I'm going to be happy now and functional (without falling apart) is to give up on the hope, along with the idea that things will work out for me and Matt; that he could ever consider me as more than a friend and we could get together. I realize that my holding onto this idea really isn't healthy, because it won't come true (since things aren't even favorable for that to ever happen.) And things especially don't happen while you're wanting them to...or wishing for them to.

Why do I put forth so much effort for people who I stand little to no chance with? Why do I care so much about those who could care less about me in return? And why do I let those people get so close to me that it breaks my heart when I get hurt?

Things to expand upon when I get to that part in my book...