if you ever wondered where my parents got their inspiration to name me heather, this is it...heather is a purple flower that grows in scotland...as seen in the picture to the left. now heather refers to a style of fabric coloring, like "heather grey" or "heather red." i guess i can't complain, being named after a flower...the other choice was hildegard...eek!

all smiles on campus

part of what i love about carolina is the friendliness of the student body...people who visit our campus are often taken aback by the warm openess that accompanies every carolina student, from offering directions around campus to engaging in long conversations with potential students in their spare time. call it southern hospitality.

that friendliness has been demonstrated to me so many times today, in friends and strangers alike...

the pit i love especially, for the fact that everybody goes there to meet up with friends before meals, club meetings, or just to hang out. all around me today were people chattering about their summers, classes, exchanging smiles and hugs in greeting to those they hadn't likely seen since last may. i love people watching, not in the stalkerish kind of way, but just because that's my natural writer's instinct kicking in...i enjoy being able to see how people interact.

today i had the pleasure of eating breakfast with a good friend of mine, a surprise of meeting another friend in the pit (one whom i had not seen in ages), lunch with yet another friend, and then meeting two very nice guys tonight at dinner (all of us formerly complete strangers who shared a table at ramshead because of the dinner rush). now if only everybody outside of this little bubble of chapel hill could extend the same courtesies as i have been privy to today, i do believe things would be a lot better off.

most of all...yay for a surprise visit from a special person of mine i miss very much...you have no idea how much this meant to me! :-D

favorite song of the moment

this is such a thought-provoking song, pretty much everytime i hear it, i have to stop and listen to it just because it's so emotion-evoking...

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything On our own
We don't need Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

ever felt like a piece of trash?

i've come to the realization that most of the trouble in my life stems from me saying too much of what i feel, or not saying enough when the time calls for it, just because i'm too nice to do otherwise...

people tell me all the time that i'm the nicest, most sincere person they know. but if they only knew how my sincerity comes back to taunt me on a regular basis, they would tell me that i'm probably stupid for being as nice as i have been so many times before. it's equivalent to being stepped on and ignored many times over, and as a result, i am left to "clean up" messes and nurse my wounded feelings. i know there's probably other people who can attest to feeling the same way, if only at least PART of the time. really, it's just a matter of the fact i feel i wouldn't be a good friend if i finally just put my foot down about something...totally the wrong idea, i know. and i realize that perhaps i'm not being the best friend when i secretly wish that things don't work out for some people...

change? why change?

why do people have to change so drastically? i hate that we try to change ourselves to fit the mold of people that we want to be like or be with, just because we think it will make ourselves more easily accepted...but in the process, we're not only losing ourselves as original individuals, we're losing all of those who liked us being original.

i also dislike when we shove aside our old friends to make room to hang out with people that couldn't less about us, just because they're there and convenient. how can you be okay with being used, much less willingly admit it to other people?

friendship shouldn't be about having to "schedule" a time to hang out, weeks in advance...whatever happened to spontaneity in life? the freedom to just call up a friend and get together? oh, but when you are so involved in yourself and your personal gains (sometimes at the pain of others) that you can't realize there's a world out there that wants to know you, then i can't blame you for being self-centered.

but hey, your old friends are still here, still deserving of respect and attention, even if we don't fit in the "flavor of the month" club.

and just because you can only think in one direction, doesn't mean you have to take that direction...there are other options you know.

maybe "not right now" really means "not right now"...don't push the issue.

but i know you're too stubborn to admit when you're wrong or when others are right...your pride keeps you from being humble...and makes the rest of us even more pissed off when you can't understand why we're upset in the first place. if i'm telling you something's wrong, something is wrong, i don't care if you don't think it's a BIG thing...something's wrong, dammit, so listen and stop being stubborn about it.

back to school update

well, the second day of fall semester 2006 has run its course for me...only had one class today, intro to jazz music. it seems good, i'm hoping that i will learn a lot from it, and actually get a liking/appreciation for it by the end of the semester...jazz isn't really my thing, but i'm willing to give it a try, considering. i think it was matt's doing, introducing me to the wonders of michael buble last year, along with dci, and a little bit of jazz through his love of the genre, and also his sax playing. i miss matt playing for me, i hope maybe he'll do it again sometime.

speaking of matt, i wonder if i really do have the ability to predict the future and have it come true...? all those predictions i made last semester, about this year, slowly coming true...sadly.

i want to meditate more on that later...now for errands...so much to do!