Honestly?

The conflict is almost too much. Debating between going with your heart and arguing with your brain about going with your emotions is so consuming and confusing!

I've always told people to go with their heart in what they do, to trust their feelings and not over-think things; but yet when it comes to myself, I can't follow the same sentiments. Funny thing is, I can give advice all the time, but I can't seem to heed it or accept it when it's parroted back to me. It's so hard for us ourselves to see what is the necessary thing to do; while others around us can more easily perceive what a good option might be. It leads me to think that we are all just a bunch of walking, talking oxymoronic people, fighting between reason and emotion, and neither side really winning.

It is hard for us to stand at a crossroads and try to make a decision; to pick a path to travel down and a destination to (hopefully) journey towards. Because once you pick your path, it's kinda hard to backtrack and try to take the other one. Even if you were lucky enough to find another exit that would take you to where you need to be, somehow you've lost time, patience, faith, etc. in what you were trying to achieve. But in the end, I figure it's better to be travelers than to be stuck at an intersection trying to figure out if you're lost or not.

But the thing is, sometimes we live in fear of what to do--whether to trust our heads or hearts in what we do--because we're so afraid that what we decide might hurt the people we care about most. Hypothetically, these people wouldn't care in the least because they would still be there for you after the fact...but you never know. Of course, it is devastating to find out that people aren't what you thought; that they hid important information from you for the fear of what you might think of them. I think I would rather have people be honest with me right off the bat and tell me what they're thinking, rather than finding out these things later, when the pain of knowing is far more magnified. It just leaves you to wonder how much honesty IS the best policy, with the caveat that it could mess everything up until that point of revelation of truth. And that is the dilemma that we are faced with, sometimes on an almost daily basis.

That is something that I have to figure out for myself...what is the right thing to do.