Wordiness

A random round-up of some of the words used in my blog since its inception:

So I found this beginning of a story lost in the archives of my old blog, and was delighted. I think I'm going to try to finish it, read what I have so far if you like and tell me what you think!

Thanks!

September 27th
You don't realize how alone you are until you say goodbye.

October 20th

It's been twenty three days since you died. With each day that passes, things get a little better, but every now and then I find myself slipping. Like yesterday.

I went by Sutton's and ordered a peanut butter shake. I went to grab two straws before I remembered and my hand dropped to my side. The shake didn't taste the same. I ended up throwing it away as I kept walking down Franklin Street. I know you would say it was a waste.

I sat on the Caldwell Monument and watched people pass by until it was dark and fireflies started blinking. I caught one and made a wish before it flew off into the night. You know I still make silly wishes.

I have a Spanish test tomorrow that I haven't studied for, nor given much thought to. Everyone was real nice giving me a break for a while, but I think my time's up and the sympathy is wearing off. Senora Poston will fry my ass if I don't start paying attention in class, much less start speaking in Spanish again. So it wasn't any surprise that there was a voicemail on the phone from my advisor. He wants to see me at 11 tomorrow, to "discuss my career plans," which is really just bs for telling me to shape up.

Nobody understands what it's like. They all smile sadly, pat my arm, and tell me that everyone suffers loss, but there has never been a loss quite like you...how do you go on after losing half of yourself? It feels like I've lost a part of my soul and I can't get it back. And no one will ever understand.

October 22
So I went to my advisor meeting yesterday. It went sorta like this:

Advisor: How are you doing today, Jamie?
Me: (mumbles) Fine.
A: (grimaces and then picks up my file from his desk) Well, I wanted to discuss with you your career plans. Have you given any thought to what you would like to do with your major after college? You're a geology major?
M: Last time I checked I was.
A: Uh, yes, well, what do you want to do, Jamie?

M: I wanted to study rocks and be a vocanologist, but now I dunno anymore. I thought I had till the spring to figure out all this out.
A: Yes...but Jamie, I'm worried about your performance... (there it was, that pause.)

M: ?
A: I've gotten reports from your professors--your grades have slipped considerably since the beginning of the school year. Since the beginning of September, to be specific.

M: (I shrug and say nothing)
A: Now if you're having trouble with the subject, you know you can go to tutoring...
M: I know it just fine.
A: Jamie...I know things have been...difficult since your tragedy--

M: You don't know anything.

A: I know that if you don't improve, you'll lose your scholarship...and quite possibly flunk the semester. I've seen too many good students who had to leave the university because of troubles, but I don't want you to be one of them. You're a good kid, Jamie. You deserve something solid right now, and staying at UNC is the best thing you can do for yourself.

M: (as I gather my stuff) Is that all?

A: (looking baffled) I guess it is...

I leave before the guy can say anything else. I didn't think that the budget cut at UNC was so bad they employed shrinks to tell us what classes to take, too.

Statement of Purpose

So I have to write a statement of purpose for my graduate school applications outlining what I want to do with my degree and blah blah blah. Thus I wrote up this rough draft...very rough...I will probably cut a lot out, but I just wanted to get out all my thoughts on this at once. If you feel like reading it and commenting, then hurrah and thanks. :0)


I didn't always want to be an English teacher. Until my senior year of high school, I was set on going into biotechnology and maybe on day working as a forensic pathologist. I wanted to become a crime scene investigator, sort of like the ones on television. I began to realize that I didn't enjoy science and math as much as I thought I did. This was further confirmed by my experiences in Advanced Placement Calculus and Physics.
At the same time, my interest in English literature was rising. I have always enjoyed reading and writing; it is something that I've found comfort in. My mother claims I wrote my first story when I was in preschool. Granted, it was made up of random Chinese characters cut from a magazine and glued to construction paper. No one had any idea what it meant, but they all said that I had creativity at least. In middle school, I tried writing my own book--something that I look back on now with a little bemusement because of the sheer difference in my writing style. I also won several awards from the Accelerated Reader program for having read the most books of anyone in my grade.
Going through my last year of high school, I had the opportunity to work on the literary magazine and newspaper staffs. Here, I explored both sides of my writer's persona: the creative and the analytical. This was the same time that I was in Dr. Charlotte Jones' Advanced Placement English class. My life goals would forever change with her instruction.
Dr. Jones taught British Literature, a subject area that I've heard is considered one of the most boring by students everywhere. But Dr. Jones didn't let that daunt her. I even had an aversion to Shakespeare prior to being in her class. She showed me that Macbeth was a great horror story and that Hamlet was about a confused megalomaniac. Not only that, she expanded my horizon of thinking and really prepared me for entering college discourse at Carolina.
Dr. Jones was more than a teacher in the classroom--she was an educator for your life. Throughout her lectures on the reading for the day, she would pepper it with words of wisdom and advice, aimed to help us in our futures after her class. Armed with what she taught me, I set out on my undergraduate career to receive my Bachelor's in English. I wanted, quite frankly, to be just like Dr. Jones. I still do. This is why I am pursuing my Master of Arts in Teaching now. For me, this is the next step in being able to educate my own students. It is my intention to receive the MAT in English Education, and eventually also receive a Doctoral degree so that I may be able to instruct at the university level. Several wonderful professors at Carolina have pushed me to go further than just teaching high school and enter the university realm.
Through my years at Carolina, I have been blessed to work with students, both current and prospective, in various capacities. As an Orientation Leader and a Resident Advisor, I worked with youths in my target age group of high school students, educating them about campus and its many opportunities available to them. Currently I tutor students at Chapel Hill High School. This position, albeit only for a short time each day, is enough to remind me of why I am going into education.
The satisfaction I get from helping someone is the driving force to keep working in this field. My friends describe me as a true "people person," which is evident in how I interact with those around me. If I can help one person a day with something he or she doesn't understand and have them then grasp the concept, then I feel like I am making at least a little difference. Similarly, to be in front of a group of individuals and have them engaged in what you are talking about is another energy booster. I realize that not everyone is as passionate for reading as I am, but I would like to at least show students that reading literature and writing criticisms is not as much of a chore as they might think. With the right attitude, one can make the most mundane of things enjoyable.
This is how Dr. Jones had us all enjoying British literature: she had the right attitude. On several occasions she would dress the part from what we were reading and have us act out what was going on. You never knew what the next day of class would bring, but it was good to be kept on our toes and interested in what was going on.
After receiving my Master of Arts in Teaching, I intend to go into a high school in North Carolina that has a need for my position. While there, I would teach English Literature and Composition to grades 9-12. If given the opportunity, I would also like to teach Creative Writing. Either while teaching or after a period of time, I would like to return and obtain a Doctor's of Education, preferably in English Education if offered. With these degrees in hand, I would hope to obtain a position at a university in the state of North Carolina and progress from there.
I strongly believe that having the opportunity to attend Carolina's School of Education would be instrumental in achieving these goals. Having been an undergrad at Carolina, I already have a strong understanding of the campus, its people, and the academic environment. As a graduate student in the MAT program, I would be an asset to other students, as well as a valuable classroom member to the professors. It is my hope that you will consider me for your program and help me in educating others in the future.