Another year's gone by

So I had a birthday a little while back. I think the older I get, the less I feel like it's a huge deal, other than the fact that I am a year older. I have less of an inclination to "party it up big" for my birthday and "go wild and crazy" like I might have in college. That same view stretches over to celebrating other peoples' birthdays. I'm not so much a downer or a party pooper as much as I'm starting to feel too old for wild crazy nights. Once you're legal enough to drink, it really isn't a big deal anymore, and from 21 on, each year added to your age serves as a reminder to wake up and see what's really going on. And with every year I gain, I see more friends getting married, settling down, and having families of their own. One by one, they move away from the "youthful" part of our lives and more into an "adult" phase. Honestly, it can be a little constricting, to think that I have to be on this "plan" and moving towards finding someone, marrying, and settling down. But in reality, I much enjoy my freedom to make decisions that affect me, without having to run things by a boyfriend/spouse. I still have the ability to travel, to see the world and do new things, without being tied to a place or people. My friends wouldn't keep me from exploring myself, I know. But many of them have confessed that they wish they had the time/ability/opportunity to be able to go to Korea like I will in two weeks. It's not to say that I don't want someone special in my life, 'cause I do, but I've been content for so long by myself I wonder if I know how to be in a relationship again. I've watched many friends go through the pain and troubles of relationships, and offered whatever helpful ear I could. And I still don't understand why some would want to continually subject themselves to another go-round, even with different people.

Is it really hard to separate ourselves from the idea that we need to be with someone to be "complete"?

Technobabble

I think I've gotten much better at this whole HTML/CSS code thing, with editing layouts and all. (Nice to know not all of my Computer Applications knowledge has gone to waste...but I can recall that when I was taking those classes, CSS was still relatively new in the Internet coding world.) Besides that, I managed to put a nice tag cloud on here, instead of the usual "labels" list, and changed the specs to match my blog. Not to mention, also used the great Google search to find hex codes for colors that Blogger won't normally give you. :-) I'd give myself a pat on the back if I didn't feel so dorky. :-p

P.S. Does it bother anyone else that these days it's perfectly acceptable to say things like "Google it" when asked a question you don't know the answer to or use "Facebook" as a verb? Or that increasing numbers of people rely on Wikipedia for factual information for papers and reports? It's almost like people can't take the time to appreciate dictionaries, encyclopedias, or reputable online reference sources anymore. The printed word still exists in our increasingly-reliant-on-technology world, and has been around since man figured out how to make papyrus. Granted, technology and the Internet have made things easier and quicker to access, but at the same time, I feel like it has caused people to lose their grounding with the real world--the world of turning pages, handwritten-script, physical books and papers you can actually lay your hands on. Of course, this might seem a bit of an oxymoron coming from me, writing in an electronic blog, but I still make a point and take the time to write (with pen in hand!) in my bound book journal. I like to be able to experience the way that ink flows across the page in my script, to enjoy the way that books smell when new and old, and to be filled with satisfaction at the physical output of filling pages with my thoughts. This technology age is also why I get frustrated sometimes at the library, missing the good old card catalog like the one we had in elementary school, you know, the one with all the card drawers you could pull out?
Well, the point of all that is I find our over-reliance on technology a little disturbing and frustrating at times. I hate to think what might happen in the future with the development of new technology, pushing us further into the 21st century and beyond--maybe a world not unlike Terminator or I, Robot, or maybe perhaps an environment like Brave New World, Gattaca, or Minority Report. Interesting and scary to think about, no?

Whenever I'm in the midst of having to make a bunch of potentially life-changing decisions, all I want to do is panic about the possible outcomes, probably just like a lot of other people would. If there's anything that the last few years have taught me, it's that I'm not as strong as I think I am--or as people see me as. But I always want to try and be strong for the people that need me; for my friends. I don't want to let them down in a crisis. It's just at the end of the day, sometimes all I can do is go home and cry to myself over the pain that has been confided in me. And I pray and wonder when things will start getting better for them. If that makes me weak, then I'd hate to think that love and compassion are weaknesses.

On a separate note, if I didn't message or call occasionally to see how you were doing, what would happen then? Perhaps you wouldn't notice, or even care.

I think I did this a long time ago, but it's nice to bring it out again--it's fun to see the responses.

Your Life Soundtrack
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. When you're finished, repost so other people can do it!


Opening Credits: "You're My Better Half" - Keith Urban

Waking Up: "Speed of Sound" - Coldplay

Falling in Love: "Africa Bamba" - Santana

Fight Song: "With or Without You" - U2

Breaking Up: "What If You" - Joshua Radin

Prom: "Raining on Sunday" - Keith Urban

Life: "I'll Stand By You" - Carrie Underwood

Mental Breakdown: "Won't Back Down" - Mat Kearney

Driving: "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" - Nine Days

Flashback: "One Thing" - Finger Eleven

Wedding: "She Thinks She Needs Me" - Andy Griggs

Birth of a Child: "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine" - Michael Buble

Final Battle: "Back To You" - John Mayer

Death Scene: "Once Upon a Dream" - Jekyll & Hyde OBCR

Funeral Song: "Thank You" - Dido

End Credit: "Staple it Together" - Jack Johnson

Listen up

I read today that while most people consider themselves good listeners and pride themselves on this, the truth is that we aren't really listening most of the time. Instead, we are hearing what the other person is saying, but really just looking for a way to turn the conversation back to ourselves. Even if it is an innocuous as saying "Well, I can empathize with your situation, because I've been there before, and this is how I felt," it still defeats the purpose of really listening to what your friend, family member, etc. is trying to tell you. Relating their personal issue to something that happened to you, even if you meant it in the best of sympathetic attention, trivializes whatever they are struggling with. People who come to you wanting to talk about what's bothering them just want you to listen, not judging, and care about what's going on. Advice comes later, if they should ask for it. I think a lot of times we jump into a overly-helpful phase where we try to give as much attention to what's happening, but doing that much isn't necessary on all occasions. Just listening and being there is good enough.

I know sometimes I'm guilty of trying to use my past experiences to help people out in current situations, but I really try to just listen and tell the person that I'm there for them as a kind ear or whatever they might need. It really helps, believe me.

So what do you think? Would you consider yourself a good listener? How about an active or passive one? I'm interested in hearing what you have to say. :o)

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true." -- Demosthenes

This came from a book I just finished reading, The Tenth Circle, by Jodi Picoult. The premise of the quote is that the main character's father has trouble conveying his true emotions, as well as recognizing the truth in what happens around him. Instead, he escapes from that reality in his comic book drawings, preferring instead to let out his frustrations in storyboard design. I highly recommend the book, Jodi Picoult has a very distinct and easy-reading writing style that enables her to tackle hard-hitting issues and make them strike at the heart of the reader.

But this quote serves other purposes, however. I bet many people can attest to, at one point or another, engaging in self-deception, no matter what the cause of it. We tell ourselves that things are different than how we see them; that we're different than how we are or people see us, because we don't want to hear nor acknowledge the truth.

It is said that the truth can set you free, but at the same time, it is painful to know it. With that kind of contradiction, what seems to be the best option? In the case of most people I know and trust, honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. It sure beats having someone find out about the omitted bits of the story later...

(And the "tenth circle" that the book refers to is referring Dante's Divine Comedy and its nine levels of hell. This little-known level is merely the creation of Picoult's characters' minds, but I believe it really could exist, even if Dante didn't mention it himself. The tenth level is reserved for those who practice self-deception, like Demosthenes has described in my earlier quote.)